Varsity Swim Team
My little ones are all members of the Varsity Swim Team. They’ve been swimming laps since they were born just waiting for the big race. Next up is the 50 meter squirts, swimmers, take your mark. First sperm to the egg wins!
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I Hear Voices And They Don't Like You
My voices and I really don’t like you! In fact, we think you should take a long walk off a short pier! Now shut the fuck up and get the fuck out of my sight! Take your ugly friends with you too.
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New Scientific Theory: S=EX2
Breaking News – A new evolutionary scientific theory has been established: S=EX2. We’re talking about SEX BABY! Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be, let's talk about sex!
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Lets Flip A Coin, Heads I Get Tail, Tails I Get Head
Do you want Head or Tail? The decision is never easy. All you want is some pleasure, why do things have to be so difficult? Make it official, Heads you get tail and Tails you get head, call it in the air!
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Sarcasm Is Just One Of My Many Talents
Sarcasm, it's my middle name. If you don't like it tell someone who cares. I have several other talents but I think this one sets me apart from everyone else. Think of it as my gift to you. Now, don't you have somewhere else to be?
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No One Cares About Your Stupid Blog
Truly, NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR STUPID BLOG! Your blog looks like shit, it's boring and not a single person cares what you blog about. Enough already take it down or stop talking about it!
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WARNING: May Cause Anal Leakage
The FDA requires that we now warn people of the risks associated with having sex with a man with a penis as large as mine. Side effects may include abdominal cramps, bloating or ANAL LEAKAGE. Some things just weren't designed to properly contain my giant dick!
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I'm The Bomb
Bring back the old school, you're the mother effin bomb! I can hear your tick, you're ready to explode, count down to detination... 3... 2... 1... KABOOOM!
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Sorry... About Your Face!
Show some sympathy for the ugly ones because not everyone can have looks like yours! Better yet, just buy the shirt so you don't have to say it to them.
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This Coupon Good For One Free Ride
This coupon entitles the holder to one free ride. Rides subject to my approval. Offer valid in my pants only. Cannot be combined with any other offer. No purchase necessary. Expires at midnight. Come on and take a free ride!
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Instant Asshole, Just Add Beer
BEER - Social lubricant and liquid courage all rolled into one that helps to remove the friction from the dating process. Cut straight to the chase; tell your mate exactly what kind of person you are. What's that? I can't hear you, can you YELL any louder? Stop slurring your words! Just buy the damn shirt and tell everyone what an asshole you are when you get drunk!
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As A Matter Of Fact The Whole World Does Revolve Around Me
Do people or things tend to gravitate toward you? Do you feel like you're the only one keeping things going or from falling appart? Do you feel like you're the center of the universe? Tell the world that, as a matter of fact, the whole world does revolve around me!
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I Pee In Pools
Ever find a warm spot in the pool? Yeah, that was me! Everyone does it! You're not cool unless you pee in the pool! Get this shirt and tell the world that YOU PEE IN POOLS!
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Chick Magnet
Do women find you attractive? Do they have a hard time resisting your charm? They always seem to want to hop in bed with you? You, my friend, are what we call a Chick Magnet! Don't let them get away!
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Who Gives A Shit?
Does it really look like I care? I didn't think so. Wear this shirt and you'll be sure to send the message that you just don't care what they're ranting about. WHO GIVES A SHIT?!?!
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Who Wants Crabs?
Nothing gets a party started like a set of party crabs. There's enough to go around so spread your legs and let the crab party begin. So, Who Wants Crabs?
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Someone Call A Whaaaambulance
Do you know someone who does nothing but whine and complain? Someone needs to call a Whaaaambulance and make them STFU already! Show your opinion by wearing this shirt with pride.
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No Means Eat Me Out First
Have all of the men you've dated recently forgotten to read their instruction manual? I think it's time to remind them just what to do to kick start the night off.
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Save A Virgin
Where have all the virgins gone? They're an endangered species. Do your part to save them. Save a Virgin, Do Me Instead!
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Practice Safe Sex
Sick and tired of trailer trash hitting on you? Can't seem to go anywhere without some asshat hitting on you? Tell them exactly what you think of their offer with this shirt.
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You Must Be 21 To Enjoy This Ride
Are you sick and tired of having to ask your dates for their ID so you can verify this night won't turn into statutory rape? Be sure to wear this shirt on your first date just to clarify things for the young ones.
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Kiss Me
I'm so hot you know you want to kiss me!
Shut up and kiss me! Hurry, before my boyfriend comes back!
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Know Your Role
Sick and tired of your man dropping the ball? Does he talk back? Does he fail to perform simple tasks you set forth? Let him know his role!
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You Have Failed Please Die
Have you ever met someone that was a total douche box? Has their stupidity ceased to amaze you? This design is sure to put them in their place!
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Please Tell Your Boobs To Stop Staring At My Eyes
Do you frequently find females getting down right upset at you for checking their chest out? Who's to say you're the party at fault? Maybe HER boobs were staring at you?
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Happier Than A Queer In A Dick Tree
Yes, you heard me right, a queer in a dick tree! WTF? That there queer will be seeing more dicks than he can shake a stick at.
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I'm Just In It For The Parking
Sick and tired of the long walk? Where's your parking permit? Don't have one? Own the next best thing, your very own special parking permit shirt. Let everyone know just how lazy you really are.
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What The Duck?
Ever had such a bad day that you just want to scream? If so then this shirt is for you. Let it go, let the world know how upset you are.
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I Taught Your Girlfriend That Thing You Like
Does your girlfriend have a new trick she wants to show you? Beware! I probably taught it to her and boy will you like it. Sit back, relax and enjoy the ride, just don't ask where she learned it
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Your Little Princess Is My Little Whore
What has Daddy's Little Girl been doing? I bet she's been naughty, real naughty. Why don't you ask her yourself and see if she would like to fill you in!
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Free Breathalyzer Tests!
Have you been drinking? Are you safe to drive? Find out now with our FREE Breathalyzer Tests. Simply blow on the instrument below and we'll give you your free analysis.
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MySpace Pimp
Give a shout out to all of those shot callin, big ballin MySpace Pimp with all those female friends. They have enough female friends to have a night out with each of them every day of the year and never use the same one twice!
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MySpace Whore
How many of your friends on myspace.com are guys? Hell, how many of them do you even know? Men best keep their bitches in check or they turn into MySpace Whores! Tag someone you know as a MySpace Whore before they spread anything they can!
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